procrastinal musings…

It’s wired you know, the stagnentation of the day…

A weekend that starts off with hope and vigour ends in being coffee and football, interspersed with chocolate brownies.

Procrastination is something I think Physics students specialise in, we don’t do lots of essay’s and deadline stuff. We sleep and save up our energy for a big exam rush…

No point learning it all until then…. so dead lines come as big shocks and we’re all poll-axed by the idea of getting some time in by 4pm or deductions start…

Afterwards though there’s tales of heroic working till 6am and then getting up 2 hours latter to start working again…. then we go to pub and congratulate ourselves and pro-plus. Even though the work we handed in was completed by a braindead idiot who couldn’t get his ass in gear. ‘Yay us!’

Other subjects get a bit of this but not everybloddy  student…

Project ‘n’ Stuff…

Why is my degree better than yours?

 I get to write stuff like ‘Super Fricken Massive Mother Loving Black Holes Yeeeeaaaaaaah’ in marked work a bit like essays but, actually about more real things then may what appear in essays

I kid I kid my honchos, my amigos, my.. my… well probably uninterested passers by. Other subjects and essays are interesting but the point is made. You can’t use Super Massive Black Holes with a straight face if you don’t do physics. The only other people who could get away with it have to be those doing something retarded like media studies… But hey not even there markers read their work sooooooo whoooooooo cares?

Anyway yes we don’t do essays, no no no… we go and use a £200000 camera strapped on to the back of an even more expensive telescope and (well my group) look at M77… other wise known as NGC 1068.

Which is an awesome galaxy with a SUPER MASSIVE thing in the centre causing everything else around it to move really really fast. You can tell from the emission lines, which are spread out as well as being red-shifted. (look it up baby, it’s that damn good).

We then do some calculations and then write about in a report… no fluff just information, equations and reason, and come to the conclusion that there is a super massive black hole in the centre making everything wiz around it.

But still I can’t seem to force myself to write the damn thing . I’m really unsure of myself when it comes to any written project, and 5000 words is just mammoth. I just don’t know whether I’m doing the right thing? – should I be writing about this or not?, should I leave this out? – is this right? – where can I find a reference?

 These questions just overwhelm me and I find it hard to start or do anything, yeah dyslexia and all it’s hang ups suck sometimes : (…

New Year

So what did I do?

First to get over and detox from a rather crazy autum semester The 3rd Student went back to his home city (Bristol) to get over himself.

This was a good move cos he got to reacquainted himself with his crazy school friends. I say crazy because students are all pretty much really polite considered individuals who don’t want to cos offence. Home is different. Most of my friends never left let alone went to University.

It’s…

I can’t really descibe the refreshing feel of seedy pubs and bars and clubs after the monotonous levy of cosmopolitan shite served up for students consumption….

Welllllllll… Christmas came and Christmas went… (9 year old next got a wii and after having them for breakfast helped set it up and the men/lads/kid spent the next few hours playing it while the women got tipsy )

So New Year…

Went to the Beer Keller…

Not somewhere I would natually go to, especially in my student face, but the hard rock metal helped wash out the previous year. There was a low point (every night seems to have them) when I sat on the bench next to the cloak room, and there was a girl there who was there in the same mood as me. We sat a talked/bitched and praised random encounters with random people. She also had 7 tattoos, we danced a bit and then I said good nioght and picked up my brother from a house party (in-between I also had chatted with a busker)…

It was a really good night and puts a smile on me as I think of it, back in Birmingham a million miles away    

A Tail Of Friendship : Part 3 ‘ so we talked… ‘

The Best adivice I got was to go and talk it out and explain what I was feeling…

This is truelly good advice, there was a bit of shit flying around and then a moment of, ‘okay thats done, I need to save this before its dies’.

{Okay so now I back track a little..}

The thing was that being subtle really was a bit pointless, my friend [the confidant] didn’t get what i was going on about. The hints were large and embossed, but no she didn’t get it. So we ended up offending one another. And then I had an hour of lecture were I couldn’t help thinking ‘what the fuck have i done’ (lecture v.boring -wasn’t listening / didn’t care)…

So I explained [via text] what had put me a spiral of disspare for 2 days.

I got back home.

And we talked and drank some tea – like we used to – and ate mince pies – which was something new…

And now everything is sorted. 

It’s all cool.

Yay for friends  

and i’ll proberbally live with them next year as well…

A Tail Of Friendship : Part 2 ‘And then they pulled the rug right from beneth my feet…’

So yeah I wasn’t really feeling like much, was a bit tired and didn’t really want to get up to much…

But then suddenly I was surrounded by some of my house mates and they were conversing in a different launguge! it was english I’m sure, but I was shy all of assuden and couldn’t work what they were talking about and how I should responed. It was all going so fast and I could catch on to any tread on conversation, i just felt flustered and in the way ….  : (

 And then they pulled the rug right from beneth my feet…

 Welllllllllll aperently what I thought was a small in-joke between me and a close friend, that resluted in a poster being put on my door… that unless you know this in-joke wouldn’t really register as odd….

But no.

Apperently it was put there malisously by another housemate and the world had been laughing at me for 9 months….

This information makes me wonder about wether the friendships I have with people are acctually what they seem and wether I should intrust as much of my thoughts as I do with my friends….

*sighs* 

A Tail Of Friendship : Part 1 ‘Then… well i wanted to BURN everything’

It’s true, splitting up is the hardest thing to do.

But hey that is what I had to do.

Break her heart and let go.

Then… well I wanted to burn everything.

I’d ended the most solid thing in my life and thought, hey lets pack everything else into a small shopping trolley, set it alight, push down a hill in to a canal. There would be explosions and every thing. Very Hollywood. (no I’m  not a chav but they sometimes look as though they’re having fun… to much fun… at our expense… okay now I want to kill them)

I wanted to leave the house and friends I’ve been living in with for my whole time at University, [okay the house for only 2 years but did meet friends in freshers week...], fuck them all i thought, to many memories. Everyday I walk past a door with pictures of my ex all over it [shes abroad for a year, this is how compensate... with a shrine...],  hell I even life in her old room.

Our house felt different, of the 9 people last year, we had 3 relationships going on [that's 6 of us!]. They all ended with-in  2/3 weeks of the start of this semester. It was really really fucked up.

‘He couldn’t go out with her because she might kiss some guy & that one is wondering wether that one’s ex was true &…’

…not fun. I was also battling with trying to keep my thoughts about breaking up to my self while I waited for the post to deliver a break up letter to my ex, thing was i wanted to keep it between as few people as possible before she know… so it meant living a kinda double life  . So when my confidant for the last 2 and a bit years was also looking to move out and had had an offer,

 i thought that hey I should take this and run with it… run very  very far and start again… 

Dyslexia… Some Good…

Dyslexia screws with the structure of the brain making things involving transforming sounds in to symbols difficult…

But i believe that everyone has near enough the same number of total attributes…

[Okay... communication is one of pitfalls as well... I'll try and explain myself a little better here...]

but i mean that if someone is really really good at something they will not have that much left over for anything else, so you get…

- Socially retarded, but a genius with numbers

- A retard, but the queen of socialites

And everyone else comes inbetween. Everyone has different things in which they are retard and the queen. So although functioning in the real world involves writing and shit…. I’m happy that I have those things traditionally attributed to the dyslexic person – an eye for detail and mind for imagination…. I love teh creative side of life and pissing around in my head, I can read maps better then anyone I know because I can transform the 2D information into something 3D in my head (proper maps involving hills/undulations and bog – the stuff that looks like land but is floating on 12 meters of watery shite…).

 (also the government gave me a shed load of computer stuff when i started my degree… it’s a pay off for not teaching me how to spell…)

It’s all good, it’s all bad…

Seriously we’re all the same but in different ways… 

Dyslexia… Some Bad…

Okay so I can’t spell for shite and I find filling forms difficult…

But I’m lucky that I’m able to read yes some times I still have to ask a friend what a word is but this being a good friend shouldn’t cause too much pain…

And I do have a grasp of spelling unlike many of contemporaries (although it is a lot worse then my reading) and my texts are unless you know me quite unreadable! I will be irritating and ask friends for help and cross word puzzles are so farrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr beyond me you have no idea… even the f***ing Mail!!!

Oh the forms… I’m never sure what they’re getting at, which sounds weird but it’s true. I can’t get my head round their language, stange, maybe it’s peculiar to me…. I being a student have loads of very impotent forms (they’re generally so I can get some money to live) to fill in and they each leave me in the foetal position under the bed whimpering slightly…  : ( 

Does it all make me feel like an idiot sometimes YES.

Has it got it’s compensations YES.   : )

[next time I wax lyrical about dyslexia... or something]

Hello : )

Yeah so this is my first post….

 not much to say….

 I’m a Dyslexic Physics Student and this is my new blog where I shall recount my life random stuff and some drawing’s hopefully : )

 This was a crap post but I swear they’ll get better!!! Honest!

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!